1. Look at addresses in the FAQ files [of ALT.PAGAN, etc.] and in Margot Adler's Drawing Down the Moon, or any other materials you have; scan messages posted on the pagan newsgroups for addresses -- including IDs from systems in your area. I have seen pleas for local contacts from people who were apparently unaware that regular posters were on the same local computer system as themselves.

2. Crosspost a message to the newsgroups relevant to your search, with a clear and brief title -- for instance,
   "Wiccans/Covens in [AREA]?" on alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca;
   "Norse Religions in [AREA]?" on alt.pagan and alt.religion.asatru;
   "Druids/Groves in [AREA]?", or whatever specific interest you have.
   (DON'T title it "please read this" or such unexpressive vagueness!)

3. Call local Unitarian churches and ask if they have chapters of CUUPS, the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans (CUUPS) -- this is not a coven, but an open meeting and discussion group, and a great way to meet people and get to know them BEFORE committing to a coven relationship.

4. Check the bulletin boards at local occult shops and bookstores (used-books stores, too). In fact, check all the bulletin boards you pass by: college campus & dorm, health food stores, etc.

5. Check personal columns in newspapers, especially alternative-press. Occult shops might carry CIRCLE NETWORK NEWS, or else order it from
   Circle, Box 219, Mt. Horeb WI 53572 USA.
   (608) 924-2216 1-4 pm Mon-Fri.

6. Write to some of the pagan organizations listed in the back of Margot Adler's Drawing Down the Moon, or in the FAQs & other files, and ask them to either give you addresses, or else (if they must protect their confidentiality) forward YOUR address & phone to the members or covens near you. Here's one Wiccan organization to try:
   Covenant of the Goddess (COG), P.O. Box 1226, Berkeley, CA 94704.

7. If all else fails, advertise yourself -- on bulletin boards and in personal columns. But to prevent being harrassed by fundies, use only a first name or nickname, a PO Box or newspaper box, and NOT your regular address or phone number. (Voicemail is cheap.)

"Perfect love and perfect trust" needs to have a basis in experience.

For any "retreat" (of ANY religion), a reasonable precaution might well include introducing your new friends to at least one trusted OLD friend, telling the old friend where you're going and with whom -- and possibly even leaving the old friend with a photocopy of your driver's license AND those of your new friends... just in case you turn up missing, it gives the police a place to start. This may seem a bit paranoid, but taking precautions you don't need is much MUCH better than the opposite.

Deception, or even mild coercion, should be taken as a major warning. If your new group does not respect your right to informed consent, if they continue to push you after you have said "no", leave AT ONCE. Don't stay to argue, don't stay to complain, just get out of there.

Two excellent books for anyone to read before joining a new group are Steven Hassan's Combatting Cult Mind Control and Flo Conway and Jim Siegelman's Holy Terror. These apply equally well to Christian and non-Christian groups, and will alert you to many warning signals that a group is abusive. A quick list of 15 such symptoms is Isaac Bonewits's "Cult Danger Evaluation Frame", featured in the back of his Real Magic.