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Save Cthulhu (Lovecraft Mythos Humor)

Ask Cthulhu!

Letter # 1 to Cthulhu^*...

Dear He Who Consumes:
I have a problem. My girlfriend is awesome, but her mom is a royal pain in the ass - she keeps barging in on us when we're watching movies, assigns my girlfriend chores that she has to do right before we go out and is generally just a jerk. How would you deal with her?
Thanks!

Morose in Mississippi

Boo! Well Morose,

Back in R'lyeh we have a saying... When the going gets tough, the tough consume the flesh of all who oppose them.

Of course we also feed on our mother at birth so I'm a bit surprised she's still around anyway. What kind of mother does not offer her life so that her spawn may feed?

I just don't get how heartless humans can be sometimes.

Tentacly,
Cthulhu

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^*WARNING: You're asking the advice a Great Old One. We take no responsibility or necessarily share the views or condone the advice given herein. Proceed at your own sanity...

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In memory of Howard Phillips Lovecraft (20 August 1890 to 15 March 1937), best known as a writer of weird fiction and horror and he who as brought the Necronomicon and the Cthulhu Mythos to light, not to mention one who has not only inspired writers but everything from magic to role playing games like Cthulhu Lives. Truly he was an agent of the Great Old Ones.
To learn more about Cthulhu read H.P. Lovecraft's excellent horror stories and of course consult the dreaded Necronomicon for more about the Old Ones and their minion.