Only YOU can save Cthulhu!

	Home
	His Story
	Means of Death
	Gallery
	Ask Cthulhu
	Donate
	Store

Save Cthulhu (Lovecraft Mythos Humor)

Ask Cthulhu!

Letter # 3 to Cthulhu^*...

Great Cthulhu:
Just a quick question, Mighty One. I notice in the many various copies and editions of the Necronomicon that many of the dire spells call for the blood of a virgin. Well, darn it, virgins are really hard to come by in this day and age! I blame the sexual revolution. So, do we have to use real virgins when performing spells to Your glory? Could we use people who have been an un-virgin for under a year? Is there some wiggle room here?

A Frustrated Cultist

Boo! I'a, Frustrated Cultist

Aww c'mon... we old ones have a thing for virgins. I guess "not too skany" might work or better yet, "innocent". Heck dress her in a Catholic school-girl outfit and I know you'll make Yog-Sothoth's day! Oh wait, you're just using the blood... but if you get into the whole sacrificial thing totally use the outfit.

Just don't make the mistake of one unnamed human who thought he could get one over on us using his slightly(not)-used girlfriend, writing "virgin" on her head. That dude tasted like stale beer and gave me heart burn. Head-bangers and paperback copies of the Necronomicon just don't mix I tell ya!

Your lord and master,
Cthulhu

-~* Read More Questions *~-
Go ahead... ask Cthulhu! Answers and advice will be posted here.

^*WARNING: You're asking the advice a Great Old One. We take no responsibility or necessarily share the views or condone the advice given herein. Proceed at your own sanity...

Save Cthulhu! The power is in your hands.

Advertise | FAQ

Donate | Store | Links | Updates | Contact Us

In memory of Howard Phillips Lovecraft (20 August 1890 to 15 March 1937), best known as a writer of weird fiction and horror and he who as brought the Necronomicon and the Cthulhu Mythos to light, not to mention one who has not only inspired writers but everything from magic to role playing games like Cthulhu Lives. Truly he was an agent of the Great Old Ones.
To learn more about Cthulhu read H.P. Lovecraft's excellent horror stories and of course consult the dreaded Necronomicon for more about the Old Ones and their minion.