Save Cthulhu (Lovecraft Mythos Humor)

Cthulhu's Story

His doomsday mission was to begin in a small town one hour north of NYC when, while still woozy from his great sleep, he slipped off a curb and tumulted mercilessly toward a drainage grid.

There, with tentacle snagged within the drain, great Cthulhu lay trapped and bewildered for countess days until I happened upon his emaciated and battered remains. Taking pity I carried the undulating mass of green slime home unsure if it would even survive the night.

It was only after consulting the dreaded Necronomicon that I realized what lay before me, now weakened and suffering partial amnesia. The fate of mankind rested in my hands as the options weighed heavily on my soul. Should I continue to nurse this creature back to health and hope it would take mercy on us and return to his great slumber for another millennia, or rid the world of this timeless evil once and for all... or find a way to profit from this situation, leaving the fate of all mankind on the whims of those who visited my website?

It did not take long for me to realize what must be done...